God said, let there be _______

In the beginning
God decided to make man
After man made god

Light. That's what he said, and there was light. But at what point did he start saying things like, let there be cancer, rape, greed, genocide, extinction, and all the other fun stuff that makes our planet what it is today? When did god decide to just fuck his creations and instill in them everything that he, himself, did not embody?

What if god had said, let there be jello. Would there really have been jello? Or would the universe utterly reject such a ridiculous demand and nullify his will. Would the universe bend to gods will if god was a woman? Why do humans think that a supreme being would have a sex? Why would something omnipotent have the need for a sex? Let's just say god has a sex. Let's say that sex is female. Would the universe do the bidding of a woman more readily than that of a man? What if, and this is a hypothetical if, god didn't care?

As I understand it, the god that most people believe in has many human flaws. So let's say god is real and did create man. He or she, decided to create this vast universe, then just focus on a small tiny part of it. In this tiny corner of the universe it created a planet that was capable of sustaining life. It did not create any other planets that were capable of such a miracle because it is lazy. Then one day it decides to create life on this one planet that it's focused on. On it, it creates all sorts of life. But like most humans, it loses interest very quickly. After about a couple of years, it just says to hell with it and moves on.

On to what, or where? Who knows, who cares? What if it came back, and told us all it was there, watching over us. Would we accept it with open arms or would we bemoan it's existence because of all the suffering that we must endure? Who even cares.

This is my life, and it's ending one blog entry at a time.

Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
Took the midnight train
(Going anywhere)

One more for the road

The grass sways with the passing breeze. The trees form a barrier, barring entry to the natural light at the far end of the valley. She emerges from the darkness and into the valley. Her eyes require a moment to adjust to the light. It had been so long since the suns rays had directly made contact with her retina. The small river passing through the valley beckoned her. She strode across the field, her joints no longer hurting. At the base of the river she ducked her head down and took a drink.

The air around her crackled with anticipation of the coming thunder. She turned back to the forest, a large cloud was looming overhead. She took another drink, stared for a moment the river, that seemed to flow on endlessly, then headed back for the trees. This time she saw the lightning land somewhere among the trees. The thunder that followed didn't startle her though. It was only ever the first that would get her, she could and would adjust quickly.

In the forest she saw him sitting in a small clearing. She hadn't seen him in a very long time but she knew it was him. He didn't move to greet her, she was hesitant to approach him as well. All these years on her own, she'd forgotten what life with others was like. The rain had soaked him to the bone but he dared not move out of it. She refrained from entering the clearing but sat at the edge, still sheltered by the foliage above. They stared at one another. His head dipped but his gaze never left her.

The rain slowed to a drizzle, an acceptable level of wetness for her. She moved beside him and sat down. He lowered his head again, as if ashamed. She moved her face next to his, he smelled just like she remembered. Before they made contact, she woke up.

Huddled in a small corner of a burnt out building, in a nest of soggy cardboard and assorted plastic tarps. She got up, the pain in her joints had returned. Just outside the doorway that no longer housed a door, a grey pool of water was collecting. She took a drink on her way out. She paused in the middle of the street, the ash had started to cover her coat again. Nothing in sight ahead. Before she was able to turn back, a sudden force knocked her down.

A sharp burning sensation rushed through her chest. Blood oozed out of the small hole that had just been created seconds earlier. Numbness overtook her body, the pain in her joints disappeared. She closed her eyes one last time. Maybe she'd see him again.

Believe it or not

Monkeys telling lies
The truth manipulated
No longer the truth

This year is going by so fast, I can't believe it's July. But, I better believe it, because it is. Choosing not to accept a whole truth like that would be very unhealthy for my mind. I might as well refuse to believe that it's going to probably rain a lot this summer. So I do believe it, and I retract that stupid statement. I can't believe I said it. You fucking better believe it.

People use that saying quite often, in such horrible context. I can't believe they made this stupid movie! You better believe they made it, you're watching it. I can't believe people would do something like that. Again, fucking believe it because it happened. I can't believe it's not butter. They're kind of telling that it's not, just accept it and move on. You'll be a happier person if you do so.

So what's with that saying? Where did it originate? Why does no one put any thought into this? Crazy people have one thing in common it seems; and that's that they don't know they're crazy. Would I know if I was crazy? Would you? Where do gorillas go to die? I wish I knew the answer to just one of these questions. For now, let's refuse to accept the truth and go on living our sordid lives. Cheers.

All the more I learn
All the more I realize
That I know nothing